Proverbs 9:9 says, “Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.” This semester, I am (basically) a teacher. I’m scared and overwhelmed, but I’m also ready. I have four beautiful baby Phis in my New Member Education Program, I’m teaching the fifth book of Harry Potter with a group for my adolescent literature class and today I’m beginning to lead an Alpha Phi Bible study.

I can’t help but feel a little doubt in how “wise” I actually am when it comes to these new teaching endeavors, but Psalm 119:24 says, “Your laws please me; they give me wise advice.”

Proverbs 9:9 and Psalm 119:24 came to me through K-Love’s Daily Verse (as the most relevant verses always do) the past two days, and though I am overwhelmed and feeling so blind, I know God has me exactly where I am for a reason.

I don’t really know where this post is going, but it’s coming from the place in me that’s uneasy and unsure. Perhaps this is a prayer, perhaps this is me surrendering to God by saying, “Hey God, you’ve submerged me in so much leadership and responsibility that I don’t even know where to start. I need You to show me the way.”

For me to be wise, I need to seek out God’s wise advice. And it really is spelled out for me each day in more ways than one. It’s in the Bible verses K-Love emails me every morning. It’s in the guilty feeling I get when I idly watch Netflix or scroll through my News Feed. It’s in the conversations with my boyfriend about striving to be better Christians together. It’s in the feeling of fulfillment and understanding I get when I actually focus on the readings for my literature classes.

In my Early American Literature class, we’re reading The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, and in reading Ben’s opinions and ideas when it comes to his faith, I have been thinking about my own. And maybe that’s why literature intrigues me so much… A great sum of it consists of great minds tackling mankind’s need for structure and a belief in something bigger.

Like Ben, I’ve spent much of my life putting my faith solely in the places I want it and focusing on making my life what I want it to be. Time and time again, I push God away out of fear because I think I can handle my life better than He can.

Ha! How very untrue that is. This semester, easily the most positively challenging yet, is a test, and I know it. God’s given me so much more than I think I can handle, and I know through all of my own teaching, He will also be teaching me. It’s time to be wise.