Boy on the Run,
When I decided to stop chasing you that meant I had no more to say. But now that you’re in my past, there are a few things I’d like to tell you as someone who once cared for you very much.
I’m happier now without fueling the burning fire I had to make you mine, but that doesn’t mean I don’t entertain the “what if’s.” What if the timing was different? What if sooner I realized I didn’t deserve the way you treated me? What if you fought to make me yours?
You didn’t fight for me. You didn’t appreciate every attempt I made to know you. You didn’t care about knowing me, even though you do know me in a way that probably no one else ever will.
It’s sad you let me chase you the way I did, when all along you should have been the one pursuing me. Circumstances of our initial relationship aside, as I spent more time laughing and getting lost in words with you, my feelings overwhelmed me and blinded me to everything telling me to run as fast as I could.
It’s not enough for you to say that you’re sorry or tell me that you love me now, although I knew both of those facts very well with every step I took to get to you. I never did reach you completely… The walls you built were always too strong.
As I got to know you, I also got to know your demons, and as much as I wanted to scare them all away for you, that’s something only you can do for yourself. As I chased you, my heart broke to see you so helpless in battles only you know how to fight.
I don’t wish bad things on you or even regret the time I spent making you the center of my world. In every moment involving you, good and bad, I grew up a little more and decided the kind of person I want to be.
You’ve lost your chance to be with me, but I hope that you too can take to heart the lessons you’ve learned while running so that one day you might be someone that the girl you’re meant to be with deserves. I hope that you can grow up and face your life the way that I have.
Because of you, I know what I deserve, and it’s so much more than you could ever offer me.
The Girl Who Always Loved You
7 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Boy I Stopped Chasing”
That was sad to read, but I can relate to it, so I enjoyed learning abit about how sad it is to let a girl chase you. Sad sad indeed
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It doesn’t sound like you learned much. Do you think you had anything to do with it ending? Because when we accept our part in the story, the we can become better people.
Should you really have been chasing in the first place?
I’m not sure what you’re so angry about here. Obviously I was not part of this story and am only getting the ambiguous details that you’ve provided. However, it doesn’t seem that the man has done anything wrong. It isn’t wrong to not love somebody. It isn’t wrong to not reciprocate somebody’s affections. It sounds as if you’ve fixated on this man without any reason to (certainly without any indication from him that he felt the same way about you). You say that he didn’t fight for you, and that he didn’t appreciate your attempts to get to know him. That seems like a clear indication that he doesn’t share the same feelings as you.
Additionally, you say that “all along [he] should have been the one pursuing [you].” My for you is “why?” Because he’s the guy, and goodness knows that guys are the ones who are supposed to be chasing after girls, romantically wooing the helpless damsel who can gracefully agree and reveal her hidden feelings for him all along. How heteronormative of you. You don’t even take the time to appreciate how you were asserting yourself, instead acting as if a woman making moves first is a bad thing. God forbid we challenge social norms here.
Finally, I agree in part with Thoughtpiece when xe said that perhaps you haven’t learned your lesson. Because this simply sounds like a jaded woman who hasn’t been able to accept that a guy might not be interested her. You insinuate that he should have simply reciprocated your affections and then later celebrate that you’re able to say no. What you condemn in him you celebrate in yourself, when we should all simply accept that anybody has the right to say no to a relationship and the affections of another, no matter the gender of the person ‘chasing’ or ‘being chased.’
Once again, your details are ambiguous, and only you can know the specifics of your experience (and, by the same token, he is the only one who can know his experience no matter how much you claim to know his demons). However, when you present it like this, it simply comes off as a girl jaded by rejection and unable to accept that a guy didn’t fall in love with her.
This is quite something to read, but if you were the one(boy)who was doing the chasing and getting nowhere much less feeling useless, worthless, etc. When you love someone so much that it actually hurts – there is no describing it, life itself seems not worth living. But somehow you continue and find yourself having gone through and living without what you had found years ago. Regardless, the love of the girl I had in my heart is still there and always will be. I’m just scared it will die within me but that lies in the Lord’s Plan.
Reblogged this on Days of Rae and commented:
Guess I’m the one that got away. Thankfully.
Spot on with this write-up, I really believe this site needs far more attention. I’ll probably be returning to read through more, thanks for the advice!