Not One In A Million, But Good Enough

It’s been a while. I’ve thought about my next post quite often actually, but I can’t seem to conjure up a solid idea. Right now, I’m at Holden High School doing my teaching observations (honestly I probably shouldn’t be blogging but the science class I’m in is testing so there isn’t much teaching to observe) so I thought it’d be a good time to reflect on my newly accepted career path.

Deciding to teach really has done wonders for my life. And not even just in the sense of confidently thinking I know what I want to do… It’s changed everything but solidified constant pieces of my life just the same.

One of my best friends from high school is studying abroad in Italy right now, and I can’t say her amazing European travels are anything close to the bittersweet transitions of my life, but reading her blog gives me reassurance that all of my college friends are being challenged but also blessed by life right now. We’re all just doing it in our own way.

My educational psychology class has been very eye opening for me. Just a week or two ago we discussed the phase in everyone’s life where they think everyone is watching them and truly cares what they’re doing. No one really cares. Not at all. And that just gives me more validation to do what I have to do right now to be the best version of myself. As a teenager, everything is amplified because until age 24, your prefrontal cortex isn’t completely developed, BUT your limbic system is. Your prefrontal cortex allows you to make logical decisions… Your limbic system controls your emotions… See the problem with teenagers?

Maybe I’m just a huge nerd but learning the science behind why I’ve always thought my life is one in a million with every moment being “end all, be all” has been comforting and humbling. I am still a unique person living a life no one else ever will, but the broad stages I go through are the same as everyone else’s. So Mom, I promise I’ll be okay.

And like I’ve always thought, people come into your life for a reason, to teach you a lesson or to give you a piece of yourself you didn’t know you were missing. I’ve always struggled with letting the people who aren’t meant to stay go, but I think I’m over that. I think, for the first time, I see more of my future than I do of my past. And for once, my present actually makes sense.

Maybe I’m flawed in thinking I’ll make a good high school teacher because I have a heart that sympathizes with the stage of life those kids are in. Maybe there’s something more fitting I’m meant to do because of my steadfast, hopeful heart.

Maybe I don’t need to exactly know. Maybe being who I am today, right now, is good enough. After all, we’re not guaranteed anything more than this moment.
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