Well, day 5 trumped day 4. Again, I thought about skipping the post for today, but I know I need to push through it to find some sort of meaning… But there are just some things I’ll never understand.
Today was a Saturday (a Saturday I intended on spending at a baseball game and then the mall), and that meant “sleeping in”. For me, “sleeping in” is still waking up at 8 o’clock but then staying in bed to do a whole lot of nothing (NETFLIX). I did just that, but when I looked out the window, I saw gloominess, and unfortunately, I let that set the tone for my entire day.
My time with the Lord was pushed to after my “whole lot of nothing” was finished, and then I entered into a bittersweet falling out that I knew was coming. And my heart sank deeper… I don’t know where God is.
The verse I picked today (which was a struggle) was Psalm 138:7, which says, “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life. You stretch out Your hand against the anger of my foes; with Your right hand You save me.”
He saves me.
K-Love’s daily verse was 1 John 4:10, “This is real love – not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”
Mom told me that walking with God would only get harder. Mom told me a lot of things, actually, and it seems as though just recently my ears are beginning to listen. I’m so, SO tempted to go back to the life I was living, but I’m stronger than that. Day 5 may have got the best of me, but I am going to get the best of this challenge.
I don’t know where God is right now, and I don’t know what He’s trying to tell me. Slow down, stay young, love Him first… I don’t know. I’m walking in the midst of trouble, and I know He wants to save me. I know He wants to see me on the other side of this life.
I wish I had more to say to motivate anyone who will read this, but I don’t. Some days are just really tough, but the good news is, there’s always tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day.
Here’s to a better tomorrow.
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