Today, I’m just happy to be alive and anxious for what’s to come… Because I don’t know what’s to come. And that’s why I follow Christ: I don’t know, but He does.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my first class is at 11 am so spending time with the Lord comes naturally considering I almost always wake up at 8 o’clock in the morning. This morning, I read the second half of the second chapter in Greater Health God’s Way by Stormie Omartian, which was about changing your eating habits to reflect what God wants you to eat to nourish your body (if you were wondering, He wants us to eat only the freshest, most natural foods in a balanced way). A verse that stood out to me at the end of the chapter was 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” The routine I’ve established in the morning is read a chapter in my book, and then read the entire chapter of whatever book in the Bible I pick a verse from. This morning it was 1 Corinthians 10.
My morning came full circle when I realized that K-Love’s daily verse was also in 1 Corinthians 10 and it just happened to be the inverse of the verse I liked in Greater Health God’s Way. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
And so again, I thought about the temptations I gave into during my 18th year (side note: I turn 19 exactly a month from today!). My temptations got the best of me for a while, but I found my way out of that life when I realized that God was walking with me the entire time. He didn’t lead me down the paths I took, but He also didn’t let me walk them alone. Looking back, I can see Him there with me the entire time, patiently waiting for me to come home.
Today was GORGEOUS (I hope Missouri’s battle with winter weather is finally over for the season), and I found myself smiling at all of the fond memories I have of this time of year. Windows-down drives all over Lee’s Summit with my best friends, baseball games with teams that have shown me so much love and acceptance, late nights spent outside just enjoying being young… I miss all of that so much.
And 19… How did I even get here? I’m definitely a planner, but I don’t know if anyone ever gets a glimpse of what 19 looks like for them. It’s the last teenage year, and it’s not quite 21. It’s just another year in the eyes of many. For me, 19 feels like a chance to do 18 over, and do it right. I’m transferring to a different university in the fall, and I’m so lucky that all of my best friends from back home are giving me a second chance to spend the summer with them. I cheated myself out of a lot when I ran away (mentally) from home last year.
This post hasn’t been too much about the 30 Day Challenge, but nevertheless, it is day 3 and K-Love has been part of my life today. In fact, it’s the perfect soundtrack to my life. Even when I’m not intently focusing on what all of the worship music means, I can still feel it clearing my mind and softening my heart.
I inspired one of my sweet friends from back home to do the 30 Day Challenge for Lent too, and that makes my heart so happy. I want her to know that she has always been an inspiration to me, and her random “wishing you well” texts always include the perfect Bible verse. You are loved and appreciated, friend!
I do a smaller scale Bible study with a few girls from my Greek girls study on Thursdays after my last class, and today the girl who usually leads realized she had an appointment. The two other girls and I decided to do the study anyways, and I was really proud of the three of us for taking that spiritual leadership step. One of my goals is to become a woman confident in leading Bible studies.
The study was about reading God’s word and applying it to our lives, something I’ve recently realized is powerful and necessary. I’m so much more at peace with my life after really studying the Bible because I know that God is in control. And that includes in my love life, too.
As mentioned in “The Girl Behind the Words”, I love LOVE. When I was younger, that meant princes and princesses and happily ever afters, but just this past week, actually, I’ve learned that true love lies in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I saw a blog post today from a woman who got engaged but immediately doubted it. As a hopeless romantic, that didn’t make me very happy, but as I continued to read her post, I understood why, and I realized that I too will have moments of doubt with my future husband. That’s why our relationship with God comes first, he gives us that undoubted, unconditional love we want and need, and in our earthly marriage, our relationship with the Father sets the tone and keeps man and wife together. Successful marriages sprout from couples that love each other like God loves us but also live and grow together in God, even when things aren’t “honeymoon” perfect. Guess what: things won’t ever be “honeymoon” perfect.
I want to end this post by sharing a conversation my Daddy (I’m almost 19 and that’s what he’ll always be in my eyes) and I had today. We caught up, discussing our important relationships and events of the past week, and he reminded me how young I am and how I don’t have to have it all figured out.
I don’t know what my life is going to look like a year from now, and I don’t have to know. A year ago, I certainly didn’t know what my life would be like today. I didn’t know I’d be falling in love with Jesus like I have been lately. Looking back, I know that’s why God brought me to Mizzou. That’s where I finally found God, and in Him, I’m really finding myself.